Many girls with hair like mine grow up sitting between their mom’s legs as she pulls their hair into intricate designs of braids and beads. I, on the other hand, grew up not knowing what to do with my hair. My mom is white and had never dealt with hair like mine.

Throughout most of elementary school, my hair routine consisted of three-day-old ponytails and tear-filled hair brushing.

When I was in third grade, I went to get my haircut at a Great Clips. I remember sitting in the chair holding back tears as the stylist ripped through my snarled hair and told me I needed to brush my hair before I came the next time. I decided there wouldn’t be a next time.

The first time I got my hair done in cornrows, I was in first grade. I can remember being so proud of my braids — I didn’t want to take them out. I discovered I loved wearing my hair in braids, but since no one I knew could braid my hair, that wouldn’t happen often.

The summer going into sixth grade, I decided I was going to learn how to braid my own hair. I spent hours in front of the computer with my American Girl doll studying YouTube videos and practicing. By the end of the summer I achieved my goal.

When I finally learned how to braid, it was monumental. I started to experiment with my skills. I would try different types, patterns, and sizes of braids. From then on I wanted to do everyone’s hair.

Not only had I found a way to control my hair, I had also found a piece of my identity. Braiding is a staple hairstyle in black culture, for looks, and as protective hairstyle. Tight braids or twists are often used to protect curly hair from damage, while allowing hair to grow faster because it is not being touched all the time.

I feel confident when I braid my hair. When I complete a new style of braids I feel creative and powerful. I take pride in my hair and how it looks.

Although it was difficult to manage my hair, I was motivated to work at it because I knew the results would be beneficial. I could have continued to struggle with my hair, but I made the decision to take control of it.

Being mixed, it‘s often hard for me to find my place in the black community. Having the ability to braid my hair allows me to participate in a practice deeply rooted in my heritage.