Valentine’s Day is about celebrating relationships, special someone’s and those who you love in your life. There is a lot of societal pressure to have a Valentine’s date — someone to give you a card and buy you flowers. But because we’re so absorbed by these societal norms and standards, it tends to make those without a date feel lonely and isolated. 

Diane Von Furstenberg once said, “The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.” Instead of celebrating a special someone or a potential date, foster and improve your relationship with yourself. 

How do you become  your own Valentine, you ask? Here are some ideas:  

Write a love letter to yourself. We often think of love as something to express to others, but rarely pause and express care to ourselves. Taking a moment for reflection has been scientifically backed to decrease anxiety and depression, and increase creativity and confidence. Start by gathering your materials, whether you’re writing a letter by paper or digitally, then find a quiet and comfortable place to work. A key part of this practice is writing to yourself in the third-person. An example of what that sounds like: “Dear (your name), I love your…  I love how you… I love how you care about…  I’m proud of you for… Then just write from your heart — no one is reading this but you. Be vulnerable.

Do your favorite things. How awesome would it be to spend one day doing all of your favorite things? Go to your favorite restaurant and eat your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, wear your favorite outfit. In summary: do everything you love (sleeping in late, listening to your favorite song, etc.) and have fun. This day is not about someone else anymore, it’s about you.

Splurge on yourself. Don’t have a special someone to buy you things? Newsflash, you have yourself. Queue Miley Cirus song: “I can buy myself flowers.” Call a flower shop and have them deliver you flowers with a special note saying, “I love you.”  Buy that thing you’ve been dying to have, or something that will make you happy and excited — a little retail therapy won’t do any harm.

Spend time with yourself. We often are distracted by commitments, technology or even other people. Take some time to just enjoy your own company. Alone time can increase compassion, mental health and give you an opportunity to know yourself better. It might seem like a no-brainer, but we rarely have time purely to ourselves. Take a walk outside without any podcasts or music, give yourself a bubble bath without watching a movie/show. Society is so over-programmed, running from one event to another, we often forget to just be with ourselves. It might be awkward at first, like when you meet someone new, but take a moment and just re-introduce yourself. It will get easier with time.

Appreciating relationships doesn’t just have to be with a romantic partner, it can be with any relationships in your life. Plan a fun date with your friends, go out to a movie, have an indoor picnic or just send them a text sharing how much you love them. You can also express your love with your family too — give them a card or a box of chocolates. Valentine’s Day is about love, so reach out to anyone and share how much they mean to you.

Now that you know some ways to cherish all those you love in your life, with your beautiful self in the spotlight, get cracking and go plan that date with yourself because you’ve got the best Valentine around, after all: you.