Like everyone, my character has been shaped by a mixture of positive and difficult experiences. These experiences have made me feel a variety of different emotions and impact the way I see and show up in the world. When I think about the question “Is struggle essential to happiness,” I have found that no, struggle doesn’t feel essential to my happiness, but they often seem to coexist.
Amidst the difficulties I have faced, I have sought joy as a coping mechanism. I have lost two of my grandparents over the last few years and the grief has been a steady undertone in my life since they passed. One promise I made to myself when dealing with grief was to find ways to stay connected to them and intentionally do activities that would bring moments of joy in the midst of the grief. I did this by spending time with people I love, eating good food and fun drinks, being outside, baking and trying new barre workout classes. The common thread of what made me happy was being more present as well as connecting with others while allowing myself to feel both the sadness and happiness, neither being mutually exclusive.
Everyone, at some point in their life, has heard the phrase “struggle builds character.” While it can be frustrating to be reminded of that saying, I believe it to be true. As someone who used to have perfectionistic tendencies, I have always wanted to have control over every aspect of my life. I thought being in control of everything happening in my life would bring me joy. Over the years, I have found this to be impossible and, most importantly, untrue. Instead, doing my best to be a kind, understanding, open-minded and supportive person is far more important than trying to be perfect. I have found much more happiness in life by making decisions based on my values. That understanding was based on years of struggling to find a balance between trying my best and not overthinking every decision I made. I had to accept that sometimes I will be misunderstood as a person and that I don’t have control over other people and how they perceive me.
Oftentimes, I dread studying for tests in my AP Calculus class because the content is new and confusing. However, the result is satisfying. Receiving an A on a calc test is worth the struggle of attempting to understand specific formulas, odd wording and when to apply certain concepts. The feeling of fulfillment from a good grade is satisfying, relieving and joyful. This reflects the different meanings of struggle. This version of struggle is not a coping mechanism or describing something miserable, but instead something challenging to work through. In this scenario, the struggle was essential to that feeling of happiness.
There are different meanings of struggle and while these struggles are not essential to happiness, the two often coexist in the same situations. They are common emotional experiences when dealing with grief, trying to become the best version of yourself and when working towards a goal. In these situations, struggle uncovers a new understanding of what you need in life to feel happiness, especially during difficult seasons. Struggle is unfortunately unavoidable for all of us, and learning how to manage it on our own and with support is something everyone will have to figure out at some point in their lives.
