I first fell in love with synchronized swimming when I started in sixth grade. However, I never felt like I had enough air when I swam. My ability to hold my breath was further stretched as I got older because the difficulty of my routines required me to spend more time underneath the water.

I never came up for air unless it was written in the routine, even if I needed it. I forced myself to stay underneath the water, no matter what. I did this because I was too afraid of disappointing my teammates and coaches by coming up when I was not supposed to.

When I did this, pressure rose in my chest like a ticking bomb about to explode. I would panic and start to hyperventilate. Instead of breathing, I made an awful squeaking/squealing noise that sounds like a drowning mouse-pig hybrid. As I realized I could not get any more oxygen in my body, the more terrified I would become.

My most vivid memory of this happening to me was at the final meet of my club season sophomore year. As soon as a dove in I knew it was not going to go well.  As the routine progressed, I could never catch a breath. I felt myself slip out of control, and  my ability to breathe normally was gone. When my routine ended, the entire crowd was silent as I  squeaked and swam to the ladder to get out of the pool.

The only way I’ve ever been able to get out of panic mode is to listen to my coach, Jessica Gust, calm me down. She always would know what to say, and she taught me how to tell myself to remain calm and not panic, even if I needed a breath. She said forcing myself under the surface was more trouble than it was worth.

These experiences have taught me to let go of some of my stubbornness, and to embrace the fact that I am really lousy at breath control. I had to realize I have my limitations. Rather than letting them control how I swim, I train my body to meet its full potential with what I have.

Teaching myself to accept my weaknesses have made me a stronger swimmer, and an overall happier person in and out of the pool. When I feel overwhelmed, even in activities outside of swimming, I use the skills synchro has taught me to remain calm and realize I’m not going to be perfect at everything.

I refuse to let one aspect of my sport to get in the way of doing something I love. In everyday life, students shouldn’t let their personal struggles get in the way of their goals.

Regardless of whether you swim, run, catch a ball or swing a bat, be in control of what your body does. Find and focus on the joys of your sport, rather than letting your disadvantages hold you back. And don’t forget that it is OK to let yourself breathe.