In kindergarten, my biggest fear was not of the dark or of spiders. My biggest fear was accidentally coloring outside the lines.

I was an artistic kid, but coloring outside the lines — not following the unwritten rules of all coloring books — consumed me. I thought one mistake would contaminate the entire book.

Even from a young age, I was a perfectionist. I had extremely high and sometimes unreasonable expectations for myself in nearly everything I did. I became so obsessed with perfection that I felt debilitated. I would give up on my homework if my handwriting wasn’t neat and would close myself off from new people because I was scared they wouldn’t like me.

When I was on the skating rink, everything was different. For the past 13 years, figure skating has been my safe haven from my fear of imperfection. On the ice, I can be myself without being scared of what others think. I can take risks without worrying about the outcome. I can push myself without fear of failure.

Falling down is a given in skating. It’s necessary for improvement. Taking fall after fall is frustrating, but I learned that every fall is improvement and is a step closer to landing the jump.

I figured out being a perfectionist on the ice only took the fun out of my skating. There is no better feeling than landing a jump, but expecting perfection would ruin this feeling of exhilaration.

I began to realize how perfectionism held me back in my everyday life, just like I knew it could do on the rink. I committed myself to transferring my attitude on the ice to the rest of my life. I let myself make mistakes and stopped beating myself up every time things didn’t go as planned. Letting go of these detrimental aspects of my perfectionism is still a work in progress, but my determination to change has made me happier than ever.

There’s something very empowering about strapping knives to your feet. It makes me feel invincible, even when making mistakes. Skating gives me the courage to have a conversation with a stranger, let others know I struggle and even color outside the lines.