The truths of self-love and self-obsession have been disguised by their intentions. With societal expectations of being human yet divine in nature, people desire psychological control and influence over how they view themselves. As individualists, people value self-love, yet in it, they become self-obsessed.
Self-love is a state of appreciation. It is being held in high esteem, as well as regarding yourself with compassion and kindness. To practice self-love is to instill within oneself the belief that the balance of your strengths and weaknesses does not define your societal worth and self-worth. It, therefore, is a focus on your well-being above all else.
In consideration of societal expectations which emphasize self-sufficiency and competition, the inclination to self-love is motivated by a desire to find inner strength—the strength to navigate the pressures of a modern world. In high school, people are connected to self-love, as it significantly impacts their mental health, their self-perception and their well-being; self-love has a positive effect on them throughout a period where self-discovery is overshadowed by change and challenges. Because of this, students’ confrontation with the management of social pressures and the navigation of their place in the world is met with resilience.
Admiration for the intention of self-love is rooted in its origin, yet self-love’s modern relevance is dependent on a screen. The inception of the concept of self-love concerns the post-World War II era and the Vietnam War. These periods inspired a movement towards peace and love, which included self-love as a way to promote dreaming and a promising future. Today, the proliferation of self-love messaging on social media has intensified its popularity and has contributed to perceptions of self-love as an escape, a simple solution for personal challenges.
Social media is the rationale for the propagation of self-love. It tests how much you love yourself and are willing to love yourself, perpetrating depression, anxiety and negative body image. Social media seemingly breaks you down with the intention to restructure you; this reality makes it a vicious and addictive cycle. Because the self-love of our generation originates from this superficial place, we find it hard to love ourselves without being told to and become preoccupied with being told to. In this, the line between self-love and self-obsession becomes blurred by subjective perspectives and situational contexts.
Self-love becoming synonymous with self-obsession is what is problematic. Becoming fixated on self-improvement in avoidance of true self-reflection—true self-appreciation—is not what self-love should be, though that is what it has become. There has been a shift from positive self-regard to ruinous preoccupation with oneself at the expense of well-being and relationships. This is the self-love to self-obsession pipeline.
Societal and social media portrayals of perfect lives and “ideal” bodies can lead to dissatisfaction and a constant pursuit of perfection. An absence of self-esteem can prompt comparison, contributing to feelings of inadequacy and to the desire to constantly seek external validation. This self-absorption prompts the pursuit of self-love through materialism and possessiveness. In a way, this means avoiding vulnerability and the recognition that it is okay to see your flaws. Self-love is ignorance.
Furthermore, an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a need for admiration can contribute to self-obsession. Self-love is being on a pedestal. In it, the prioritization of your needs distances you from the needs of those who surround you. In combining the victimization mindset with the self-savior mindset, being gentle with yourself can distract you from your responsibilities. This means that focusing on yourself can hinder your understanding of and your connection to those who surround you, potentially leading to strained relationships and isolation.
Similar to that of my friends, my social media has been overcome by self-love propaganda. When I scroll, I always feel the effects of social media, as it preys on my insecurities and an absence of self-worth. That is why I am hesitant to believe in its self-love remedies and fear self-idolization. Though I believe appreciating my own existence—my mundane and unique qualities, my passion and my impact on those who surround me—is important, I find sacrificing self-awareness not worth it. This may be a naive and ignorant perspective but it is my own.
All in all, self-love is a pillar to understanding your needs and desires and is, therefore, important. However, it can deceive people into becoming self-centered escapists. We should not enable our insecurities, incompleteness and imperfections; we should not hide from them. In this, tread the line between self-love and self-obsession lightly, as once you have a constant focus on yourself, you are constantly oblivious to who you are.
